And today I am 42....

As I sit here eating toast and fruit that my kids made for my breakfast I am reflecting back on the many birthdays past. If I cut it in half I distinctly remember my 21st birthday sitting in my Aunt's house in California. A lot of family singing to me while my mom gave me my pearl earrings...that one is very memorable. Or my 40th birthday here in Omaha...Jaesen took me to Mahogany, we drank Cristal (thanks to my parents), I had 40 roses perfuming my house...that was a good one too. I remember distinctly when I turned 8 or 9, not sure which, but it was when I lived in Colorado, going out to pizza with a whole crew of girls from my soccer team, little blond hair done in two braids. I have spent a lot of them while married without my husband, it seems he is cruising or deployed a lot during the month of November, but he always seems to remember that it's there. My birthday does get overshadowed often by that of Tristan's just 4 days away. I remember that year very well....we went to Dave and Buster's to play games and we rode these weird little horses as if we were in the Kentucky Derby, hoping I would go into labor....but, no. He waited until he was ready to make his appearance the night before Thanksgiving. What is it about birthdays that makes some people cringe? I love it, I love to feel special, love that my kids make me toast and arrange some fruit on a plate and come to me in their pj's and sing me their best rendition of Happy Birthday. I love that my parents all call me and sing to me too...that my husband will tuck me into bed at night and whisper happy birthday one more time to me...I think people are afraid of turning into something as they age. I am not afraid of that, I embrace it! Because if it means I am more like my Grandma (all of them!) or my mom, or because I try and be better for my kids, or I just sulk into myself to take a day for me, I am okay with all of that. Because as I have gotten older I have realized that I am beautiful, I have a good heart, I like to drink good wine, I love to surprise people, I love to bake and cook and write and have animals and dirty fingerprints on my walls and kids who drive me bananas. I love that I have lived....I've travelled the world, learned many languages, have friends around the globe, served my country, flown helicopters, taught school, become a nurse and a mother. I definitely don't cringe with the passing years, but look forward to each new year wondering what new and exciting thing may happen...and yes, bad things come too (this year being a prime example!) but I like to think that they remind me of how lucky I am, how important my family is to me and how much I have left to do. So raise your glass and let's have a big toast to birthdays, both mine and yours!!