Why is it that the most heart wrenching conversations with your kids never come when you are prepared for it? I was day 4 of being sick, had just coached Savannah's soccer practice in the rain, and finished the boys open house at 845 pm. Nobody has eaten and Jack and I are in the drive thru lane of Taco Bell watching a phenomenal lightning storm, waiting to order some long over due food. "Mom" he says so very softly, "I don't have any friends at school." I look over at him and his expression is so full of sadness I want to break down and cry. After all, we are now 4 weeks into school, surely he has a couple of friends. I ask him what he means, because he's a funny kid, I'm sure he has friends. "No Mom, not one friend in my classes." Apparently a girl in his strings class has been teasing him and humiliating him (to quote him) and now all the kids just stare at him and don't want to be his friend. There are so many different feelings I have about this. How can a spawn of some demonic entity be allowed to make fun of my Jack. (Okay, I know slightly overboard, but I'm mad, and sad, and I can call her names on my blog. I'm sure she's a really nice little girl, who can just be mean!) I'm gloriously happy because he hasn't punched her in the nose! And for those of you who know Jack well, he is showing some true growth here and maturity. Because 3 years ago, he would have just popped her for doing that. My heart breaks. He is such a funny, bright, smart, slightly annoying kid who is so fiercely loyal that he is probably the best friend you could ever have. I think my heart hurts more for him, because it's always him. It's him that has the battles to overcome; in health, school, friendships, everything. He has to fight so hard for everything. I can only think that there must be some great future for him, that he has to learn to fight for everything now so it comes easy for him later.
It's not all sad though, there is a happy ending to this story.....forward to the next morning. We are late to school, I pull in the driveway and the boys dash off, Tristan to drop off his violin and Jack to make the long walk down the drive to the doors. I keep creeping ahead in the traffic. Coming the other way down the sidewalk is a dear friend of Tristan's, walking with another friend of his. N sticks out his fist across his friend as Jack gets near and he and Jack bump fists. No words, just knucks. And everyone goes on their way. I sit here writing that with tears in my eyes all over again. He could not possibly know how much that small gesture meant, not only to Jack, but to his mom who watched from the car in the driveway.
