All the Things for Which I am Thankful.....

I thought that I would try and list them just so I can keep perspective: 1. My 3 kids-for the most part healthy, smart and full of life. Tristan is good at pretty much everything and is our most sensitive, Jack is full of spirit, becoming that A student we always hoped he would be, incredibly athletic and compassionate with those younger than him, Savannah is so bubbly and has never met a stranger in her life. She loves to run and play and just has fun with just about anything she does. 2. My husband--that he is not deployed this year. For always supporting me in all of my new endeavors, for loving me, for thinking that I'm even more beautiful now than when we met, for finally loving Christmas almost as much as me! For his ability to start a business while still in the Navy and while I always tease him about his anal retentiveness it sure paid off in the business. 3. My job-I absolutely love being able to take care of those tiny, fragile lives and help them to grow and develop and be able to send them home. It is a miracle to watch how they progress and know that I had some small part in it all. Plus I get my baby fix! 4. For my Uncle's progress in the burn unit....it's almost been 4 weeks since the explosion and he has made huge strides...there is still progress to be made but for awhile there we weren't sure if he would make it out of the hospital, then how serious the injuries would be, now his burns are healing well and he just needs to make progress in his swallowing. 5. For the 90 years that I was able to spend with my Grandma. Her death has at times been hard to bear, but the memories that I have of her and our times together are too numerous to list. She was an amazing woman, and I miss her. 6. My black dog Bailey who we also lost this year....yes she was a dog, but for many deployments she was my sounding board, my crying partner, the one who I could hug or tell my worries too...she was always there and the hole that she filled is still very empty. But she had 10 wonderful puppies who provided love to several different families and for that I am so grateful. Cheers Bailey! 7. My parents...we haven't always agreed, or got on, but you were always there for me and I like to think now that you are proud of who I am and of what I have done. There have been tough patches and all of you have risen to the task and helped me get to the top...especially through nursing school while Jaesen was deployed! Thanks and I love you all. 8. For moving all over the place. I know my friends who have lived in one place just about their whole lives may not understand it but, I have friends all the world. My children have seen places and spoken other languages, experienced riding the Shinkansen, petting koala bears at the Australia Zoo, searched for seaglass in Saipan, eaten Spicy Crabs in Singapore, boogie boarded in Hawaii. I can safely navigate through any countries customs while toting kids and bags and loved every second of it. And back stateside I have seen places I never would have otherwise: Cliff Walk in Newport, RI, Sam Adams grave in Boston and eaten at the oldest restaurant in the US there as well. Eaten at the Hotel Del in San Diego, hung out on the beach in Florida on both coasts, camped in the Hill Country in Texas, and oddly enough, here in Nebraska have run into friends from being stationed in California, Florida, Texas, Rhode Island and Japan. I am sad that our times of moving are coming to an end, it will mean that I have to start purging every couple of years on my own! 9. For small things like a glass of wine at the end of the day, a great sunset, a good fire on a cold night, roasting marshmallows, a good book, taking a good picture, chatting with a good friend who I haven't seen in ages, playing Dance Party with my kids on the Wii, making hot cocoa with fun marshmallows for the kids, Christmas lights, watching my husband at Halloween, brushing my daughters hair, volunteering at school, cheering at my kids sporting events, our National Anthem-which just makes me feel goose bumpy, a clean house, gelato, bird watching, coloring with crayons (yes I still like to do that!) clean sheets, listening to my kids sing, cooking, choosing the perfect gift for someone, working out, music to fit my mood, watching my kids grow and learn.

And today I am 42....

As I sit here eating toast and fruit that my kids made for my breakfast I am reflecting back on the many birthdays past. If I cut it in half I distinctly remember my 21st birthday sitting in my Aunt's house in California. A lot of family singing to me while my mom gave me my pearl earrings...that one is very memorable. Or my 40th birthday here in Omaha...Jaesen took me to Mahogany, we drank Cristal (thanks to my parents), I had 40 roses perfuming my house...that was a good one too. I remember distinctly when I turned 8 or 9, not sure which, but it was when I lived in Colorado, going out to pizza with a whole crew of girls from my soccer team, little blond hair done in two braids. I have spent a lot of them while married without my husband, it seems he is cruising or deployed a lot during the month of November, but he always seems to remember that it's there. My birthday does get overshadowed often by that of Tristan's just 4 days away. I remember that year very well....we went to Dave and Buster's to play games and we rode these weird little horses as if we were in the Kentucky Derby, hoping I would go into labor....but, no. He waited until he was ready to make his appearance the night before Thanksgiving. What is it about birthdays that makes some people cringe? I love it, I love to feel special, love that my kids make me toast and arrange some fruit on a plate and come to me in their pj's and sing me their best rendition of Happy Birthday. I love that my parents all call me and sing to me too...that my husband will tuck me into bed at night and whisper happy birthday one more time to me...I think people are afraid of turning into something as they age. I am not afraid of that, I embrace it! Because if it means I am more like my Grandma (all of them!) or my mom, or because I try and be better for my kids, or I just sulk into myself to take a day for me, I am okay with all of that. Because as I have gotten older I have realized that I am beautiful, I have a good heart, I like to drink good wine, I love to surprise people, I love to bake and cook and write and have animals and dirty fingerprints on my walls and kids who drive me bananas. I love that I have lived....I've travelled the world, learned many languages, have friends around the globe, served my country, flown helicopters, taught school, become a nurse and a mother. I definitely don't cringe with the passing years, but look forward to each new year wondering what new and exciting thing may happen...and yes, bad things come too (this year being a prime example!) but I like to think that they remind me of how lucky I am, how important my family is to me and how much I have left to do. So raise your glass and let's have a big toast to birthdays, both mine and yours!!

My crazy whacky Jack!

We should have known that from the beginning that you would be our crazy one...the one to tell the funniest jokes without even meaning too, the one with the funny faces and hair, the one who would do anything to impress a girl that you truly like (yes Victoria he still talks about you all of the time, even though Japan was ages ago!), the one whose stubbornness shines through. I love that you have such an imagination, your love of dressing up is legendary...your whole pre-K year you wore one of three costumes to school, you were routinely a dinosaur, Batman or Edmund from Narnia as you played in the neighborhood. Your love of life and lack of fear give you such a spirit of adventure. Jack we love you so much. And we know that you have to work twice as hard to get some things done that take others no time or thought, but that is what makes you special. You never give up, you just keep on going. Happy 9th birthday buddy, and many more.......love, Mom (and Dad, Tristan, Savannah, Merlin and Pepper too!)

Forever Young!

Bailey....what to say about such a great companion. Bailey has been around since this Yerger family was just starting out, we were just dating when Jaesen let me pick out "his" dog. And what a choice I made. At first we weren't so sure that it was a good one, she ate window sills, shoes, door frames, drywall, a brand new sofa (our first piece of furniture we ever bought!), and ran through countless screen doors. But, she came around...she could party with the Marines in flight school and run forever on the beach. She learned to body surf and we would literally have to drag her from the water before she would drown herself. Bailey loved playing catch, she would fetch and fetch and fetch some more, never tiring, always teasing you with dropping the ball just out of your reach so she could snatch it up again and run away.. Bailey gave us ten of the most adorable puppies you could ever imagine, some are already waiting for her on the other side. That was our first foray into parenthood, taking care of ten puppies during flight school may not have been the best decision at the time, but we sure are thankful for her wonderful son, Merlin, who is going to be heartsick in the coming days. You have been a constant companion to me dear dog, when Daddy was gone on multiple deployments, sitting with me through my own pregnancies, always there. I am going to miss you so much, there aren't even words to describe the loss that I already feel in my heart. Tomorrow is going to be so hard...I know Jaesen thinks that you are his dog, but with him being gone so much, I kind of think that you are mine, we have spent more time together over the years and I know that it is time to let you go, but it is oh so hard for me. I will remember how you always went on walkabouts, just up and leave the yard. One day we found you in someone else's garage with another black lab....just laying there being friends. I will remember when you were a puppy and we were driving from TX to LA and you got into a bag of candy and had a piece of licorice stuck to your nose, you thought you were being so sly, but with the licorice on your nose and jujubees in your teeth your secret was obvious. Your love of the water, I think you could just live in a lake. How we taught you to say your name....how you love peanut butter...how you helped to raise three humans as well as 10 puppies....how you played with ferrets, and cats, and sing when the kids would play the harmonica or violin. There are too many memories...I sit here with tears streaming down my face, wondering if you know how hard this is for us, do you feel loved? Do you think you had a great life? I hope so, we certainly tried and your loss will be felt for a long time. Know this Bailey, you were a part of this family, and this family will have a hole. Love you Bailey Dog!

The Details.......

It's been 3 months since my last post, that seems like an extremely long time. Can I really have not written for that long? So I think back to the last several months and what I did. First off, I have three kids, yes the same three, I haven't traded them in for new models yet, and those three kids each know how to become their own category IV hurricane. Thankfully, they all seem to form their storms at different times which is good for all of us. Secondly, work. I worked an exorbitant amount of time at the end of 2011 and it actually took me the whole month of January to recover from that. No, I'm not kidding. I took naps every single day to recover all the rest that I had lost working 4-5 nights a week during those months. The paychecks were awesome though, just in time for Christmas, and it's been hard to see the "normal" size of those paychecks again. Lastly, I think I just needed some time to focus on other things for a bit, but now I'm back. Back to the telling of my life's normal but hilarious stories.

For instance: My husband travels (quite a lot these days) so I decided to paint while he was away. Our office was a horrific, seizure causing yellow, and I thought a nice blue or blue-gray would be so much nicer with the wood blinds, and silver accents. So when he left on Monday morning I painted half of the room where I could easily move the furniture. After it dried and I decided I liked it, I realized I couldn't move the computer desk and had to call in reinforcements to help shuffle furniture around enough so that I could paint. Painting was finished and my minions and I moved furniture back, got all the outlets back on, pictures back on the wall and everything put just so, with just hours to spare before his arrival. I was so excited when he arrived I dragged him by the hand into the office and did a voila move with my hands, indicating that he should be so impressed with my efforts. He actually said to me, "What am I looking at?" He must have noticed my quizzical expression because he looked back into the room muttering, "okay it's obviously something, I'm missing something" Ok, I could understand if he didn't know that I had painted it a different shade of yellow, but going from yellow to blue seems to me like a pretty big change. Finally he asked if I had painted. So I asked him what color he thought the room was before. "Uh, yellow" he says. "Oh wow, I really like it!" And that was that. He did say something along the lines of "Oh so that was why you were so busy" so he does know that I was busy. But I moved a metal four drawer filing cabinet by myself, had to move a 400 pound desk, had to extricate a cat from the vent where she decided to wedge herself (and yes it goes straight down and she was traumatized for days, still have no idea how she got back up), didn't wonder how I got all the pictures back on the wall in the correct spots. Sigh. I guess it's because he is a man and I am not. The funny thing is that he did notice the new bedspread on the bed and told me how much he loved that, which I was happy about, because sometimes our tastes do not match. The real kicker to this story though is that I also painted our master bath which has 12 foot ceiling peaks (with my mom's help). I also painted it blue (this time from a light khaki color) and he has yet to notice that the color has changed. It is day 5 now and nothing. So yes I was busy, I painted two big rooms with difficulties, had work, kids, doctor appointments, and all of the normal stuff in life. I'd like to think though I would notice if my husband got a new haircut, painted the garage, or something big. Then again maybe I too am slipping, so if I don't notice your new haircut right away please don't be mad, just chalk it up to the fact that my husband is wearing off on me after 15 years together!