Hopes vs. Reality

With the start of the movie last week it seems our lives have been centered on Afghanistan. Our lives are about to be put into a washing machine again.....for we've been given notice that my husband will be required to deploy again. Never mind that it will be his 10th deployment in 18 years, really 15 if you count all the training years. Never mind that his command has fought for him to remain here, because he is the guy for this job. Never mind that the government is already out of money for the year. Because our reality is that he has to leave again. And while we have no idea where that may lead, the sandbox has been screaming at us, taunting us, ready to claim my husband to it's lands. Of course I have hopes, maybe we will get a nice tour to Germany, or maybe it will be a year hardship deployment without us. But all those things that I wrote in my last post are parading down Main Street with a brass band and red flags waving proud. We have approximately 5 months to prepare, to prepare our children for a life without Dad. For me to pull on my big girl pants once again (hopefully for the very last time) and set aside all my fears, disappointments, sadness and just be both Mom and Dad. We have been very fortunate that we will have been here for 4 years, that is huge. And we are thankful. I will be more thankful when we can retire him after all this time and he won't have to leave to places that need us and hate us and may be swallowed up by the sands of time again. We will see what our reality turns into, meanwhile I hope that God watches over us all.