The Challenge

Today I woke up and the morning turned into one of THOSE days. I felt like I was living last night's episode of Parenthood, except instead of locking my tantrum throwing child into their room, I had him trapped in the bathroom. I had insisted he brush his teeth to go to school, and he threw up his own challenge, to be mouthy, throw a fit, and tell me how much he hates school and that he isn't going. Well absolutely nothing gets to me like hearing one of my kids tell me they aren't going to school. I'm not sure why, maybe because I view it as my time to get as much done as possible, while trying to do something "me" centered, or maybe because I know he really does like school. At first I tried the calm parent approach.....Jack, I know you like school, is something bothering you? As he dumped toothpaste all over his shirt and the sink, I sighed, seeing the calmness make a U-turn and depart the scene. I told him I'd rather he just brush his teeth and comb his hair so he could get dressed, we were at our time already to leave and it looked like it was going to be a while until we actually left. At this point I probably would have been wise to go and get a bottle of wine and mull it over out in the hall, but no, I had to press my point of brushing teeth. Maybe if the child hadn't had so many cavities already, or didn't just have 2 teeth pulled due to a horrible abscess in his mouth I would have just let it slide....but Mr. Cavity needed to brush and so the line was drawn in the sand. A terrible meltdown ensued, on both our parts, and the wine would have been better, it would have at least kept my mouth closed and maybe given me a sense of calm. Finally, I had to drag, yes drag the child to his room to get dressed. Savannah has now missed her circle time, and we are really pressing our luck to get Jack to school on time at all. I literally have to undress and redress this 8 year old boy, sometimes it just seems to be easier. Finally I get to what I hope is the root of the problem....a boy is trying to be friends with Jack at school but is hanging all over him and he is getting mostly annoyed. I ask him if he wants me to email the teacher, he says yes, I do and magically the storm is over. We have both yelled, he has cried, punched the floor, his bed and gave me a once over which earned him an equally evil glare meaning "don't even try it buster if you want your butt attached to your body anymore!" I hugged this headstrong child and we all got into the car for school. He happily dashed out of the car and ran off to his class where hopefully the horror of being trapped in the bathroom with his mother is but a distant memory. For me it's fresh and raw and brings tears to my eyes, it makes me so sad when we have these starts. I don't feel like a good mother at all, not like the ever patient mom of Max in the show, or Sydney's mom who just sat outside her door listening to all the insults thrown her way, quietly downing a bottle of wine in her despair. Nope, I'm the mom who insists we don't wear our pj's to school, we must brush our teeth and at least tame our hair....well there are days we can let that slide. I sure do love that kid, for all his up's and down's he can bring me to tears of joy and sorrow, and do both in a matter of minutes. He is so unique though and I'm just glad he's mine, although I will sell him to the highest bidder on certain days!