Day 1 Underway Crisis

Well I have to say that this doesn't even compare to the Iraq deployment where we ended up with Tristan having a broken arm and my brand new washing machine springing a leak, no this was minor. Savannah found a tube of chapstick and decided that the wood floor needed smoother lips so she smeared the whole entire tube in the hallway and kitchen. And then picture poor Jack running up to me tears in his eyes, so upset he can barely speak. He is really upset or hurt and he won't talk so I can't figure out what could possibly be causing him so much anguish. Finally he chokes out toilet paper roll, toilet, flush. At which point I start screaming and run over Savannah on the way to my bathroom. Jack is on my heels sobbing. I get to the toilet, no overflow, just no holder for the toilet paper. So I sit down on the toilet and get him calmed down so he can tell me what is going on. Turns out he had used the last of the TP and took the paper roll off the holder which he promptly dropped into the toilet. "Why didn't you just grab it instead of then flushing the toilet," I say exasperated. "Well Mom, I pooped." So I explained that although I didn't necessarily want it back we should not flush things like that down the toilet. He couldn't stop crying and I told him it would be okay I would find another, he was not convinced though. I found one today at the store so he will feel better. And then lastly Jack sprung this on me at dinner. "Mom, I dare you to do sex with a boy!" I wanted to smack his little head so hard that it would spin around, but instead tried to maintain some decorum and casually ask, "Where did you hear that? Do you even know what it means? And don't ever say it again!" And all the while I'm thinking, little do you know pal, little do you know.....He pointed to Tristan as the culprit and turns out he heard it from another friend and decided to pass it along to Jack, thanks Bug, thanks. Since they still don't know what it means whatsoever, I have banned them from discussing it. I am just not ready for this discussion yet, give me another couple years of freedom from having to go down that road.